PART 2: 4 Characteristics of Manipulators & How to Show them Christ’s Love

This week we are going to talk about the 2 remaining characteristics of manipulators and how to show them the love of Christ. If you missed Part 1 of this post you can view it here. Let’s jump right in: 3. They Manipulate Themselves. CHARACTERISTIC: Manipulators don’t think of themselves as manipulative, they see themselves as wronged by the people around them. Aside from narcissists, I think most manipulators see themselves as victims in life. The irony is by trying to control others they lose control of their own lives and end up manipulating themselves into believing their lie as truth. CARE: You are probably starting to notice a lot of these solutions come back to truth and love. This …

Part 1: 4 Characteristics of Manipulators & How to Show them Christ’s Love

When I say the word “manipulator”, I think just about every one of us can think of someone that word describes. Even in the church. So, how do we show the love of Christ when we are being manipulated? I know a few of you are thinking, “Well, we just show love. It’s easy. Just die to yourself.” Part of me agrees with this statement and part of me doesn’t. I agree with the parts of show love and die to ourselves. Where I differ is on what this idea of love actually has living behind it. I think for many Christians what they call love is actually just kindness and while kindness is nice, it doesn’t hold a candle …

How To Fix The Church

Let’s talk about fixing the church. One thing I learned, years ago, from leaving and returning to the church body, is that every problem doesn’t need my opinion in order to be fixed. If I have to manipulate my will into the church, even if I believe what I’m doing is right, then I’m trying to take the wheel from Christ and steer the church by my standards. There’s a valuable lesson in this: If God wants me to change something in the church, He will give me every tool, influence, and ability to do so with gentleness. Otherwise, if I do not have those things, it doesn’t get my attention. Most of the problems people get so upset about …

Should Christians Be Door Mats?

Many Christians love the idea of Christianity but not the act of personal sacrifice in love to others. They like to talk about sacrifice every Sunday and celebrate the sacrifice Christ made for us. They talk about how important it is to love our neighbors and to give away the love Christ so freely gives to us. But, for so many, talk is where living the life of Christ stops. Loving People Is Hard Loving people is hard, otherwise, it wouldn’t be called sacrifice. To truly love someone, as Christ loves us, means we actually love them the way Christ demonstrates His love for us. It will require us to put our time and resources into the process. It requires …

Relationships: Why They Are The Most Neglected But Important Resource In The Church

Most of the time when someone feels disconnected, disappointed or discouraged in the church those emotions can be traced back to a lack of relationship with others in the church. Relationships help us to bend and work together when times seem tough but they also strengthen the church body in such a way that when working together they provide shelter for others in the storms of their lives.

A Few Of My Favorite Christian Resources

A Few weeks back I promised a few people I would put together a list of some resources I have found incredibly helpful in understanding scripture, suffering, and our responsibilities as Christ followers.

This in no way is a complete list but it is a few of my favorites. If you have any resources that have been helpful to you please feel free to share those in the comments below.

Guilt vs. Shame and why every Christian should know the difference

[prompt type=”left” title=”Cliff Notes Version!” message=”For the short bullet point version of this post click the button to the right.” button_text=”Click Here!” href=”#bpoints”] And now, little children, abide in him, so that when He appears we may have confidence and not shrink from Him in shame at His coming. – 1 John 2:28 ESV The most destructive aspect of sin is not simply the act of sin itself but often the shame that accompanies it. Shame entices us to believe that we have not just failed but are in fact failures. It calls to us to accept we are loved but not fully loved and that even in the smallest of ways we must fix ourselves in order to be made whole. Our …

3 Easter Sunday Failures That Guarantee Visitors Never Come Back To Your Church

[prompt type=”left” title=”Cliff Notes Version!” message=”For the short bullet point version of this post click the button to the right.” button_text=”Click Here!” href=”#bpoints”] Easter is just a few days away and church organizations all over are finishing up their final preparations for what could be described as the Super Bowl of church services. People from all over our communities will show up for services, cookouts, and easter egg hunts… and then just as quickly as they arrived, the majority will never be seen again, until perhaps next year. The majority of us know this but what do we do about it? I don’t think the answer is in better services, music or sermons. It’s not in a community easter egg …